we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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