Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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