Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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