How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
