i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
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They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
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It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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