I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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