his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
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This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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