never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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