I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
