He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
