seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
