Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I have poison ivy on my dick
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle