Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'

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(973): my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!' http://tfl.nu/vh00

Replies (27) Good night (945) Bad night (3215)
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(706): View more from Georgia

lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.

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(706): lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand. http://tfl.nu/av0q

Replies (58) Good night (6327) Bad night (831)
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(323): View more from California

I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?

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(323): I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes? http://tfl.nu/rey6

Replies (16) Good night (1164) Bad night (5221)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...

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(203): Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night... http://tfl.nu/4ooo

Replies (7) Good night (1054) Bad night (4640)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.

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(609): We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada. http://tfl.nu/0b9c

Replies (22) Good night (6124) Bad night (2003)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?

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(403): Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch? http://tfl.nu/fqqa

Replies (6) Good night (2776) Bad night (1527)
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(708): View more from Illinois

This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram

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(708): This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram http://tfl.nu/p4j5

Replies (2) Good night (2741) Bad night (749)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.

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(832): I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW. http://tfl.nu/ohwe

Replies (25) Good night (6606) Bad night (1082)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test

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(608): and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test http://tfl.nu/8oo5

Replies (14) Good night (3210) Bad night (1248)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.

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(803): We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young. http://tfl.nu/kv9f

Replies (2) Good night (1727) Bad night (492)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea

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(843): I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea http://tfl.nu/qtt5

Replies (4) Good night (1449) Bad night (475)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.

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(832): He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass. http://tfl.nu/my94

Replies (14) Good night (568) Bad night (1059)
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(972): View more from Texas

Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...

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(972): Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch... http://tfl.nu/v5jz

Replies (11) Good night (940) Bad night (780)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?

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(570): Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear? http://tfl.nu/z5ck

Replies (4) Good night (982) Bad night (383)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.

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(608): My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him. http://tfl.nu/n6s2

Replies (1) Good night (1335) Bad night (270)

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