I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
