Texts From Last Night

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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.

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  (403): Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack. http://tfl.nu/lh8d
  Replies (12) Good night (2257) Bad night (548) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!

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  (724): Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face! http://tfl.nu/2men
  Replies (24) Good night (1239) Bad night (4673) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.

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  (585): Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird. http://tfl.nu/h1yk
  Replies (8) Good night (2908) Bad night (1476) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off

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  (703): im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off http://tfl.nu/2ezh
  Replies (63) Good night (1202) Bad night (9472) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee

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  (917): Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee http://tfl.nu/mgtx
  Replies (8) Good night (4887) Bad night (691) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.

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  (330): He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius. http://tfl.nu/c6ym
  Replies (36) Good night (7819) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.

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  (402): In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck. http://tfl.nu/gl2y
  Replies (7) Good night (3213) Bad night (1163) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.

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  (401): we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either. http://tfl.nu/u7gs
  Replies (15) Good night (1065) Bad night (5519) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get

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  (252): its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get http://tfl.nu/sb3f
  Replies (18) Good night (1125) Bad night (3852) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.

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  (516): The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me. http://tfl.nu/o6eb
  Replies (6) Good night (2671) Bad night (561) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.

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  (785): You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark. http://tfl.nu/p2c2
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?

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  (814): Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass? http://tfl.nu/jyz9
  Replies (8) Good night (1298) Bad night (333) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick

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  (336): At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick http://tfl.nu/8ojw
  Replies (3) Good night (587) Bad night (143) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.

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  (540): His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me. http://tfl.nu/adz0
  Replies (5) Good night (345) Bad night (491) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.

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  (520): Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today. http://tfl.nu/5rxw
  Replies (2) Good night (393) Bad night (158) Order T-Shirt

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