Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Do vagina's smell?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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