DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Slut skills are useful in every country.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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