I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
