We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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