Whod you bang
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
how do you play pong handcuffed?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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