matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
