Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
porn star boner night. come get it.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
