shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
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