Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
