I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
