Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
