We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
