I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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