You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
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I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
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my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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