so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
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The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
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I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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