Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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