we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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