I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
