the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
