Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Another day, another engagement, another cat
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
