More tranny stories later!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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