tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
