doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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