She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
