ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
