Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My life is pants optional.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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