So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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