put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
