Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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