What a fucking waste of an outfit
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
