We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
