is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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