well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. ðŸ˜
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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