her facebook's as public as her vagina
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"