Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (971): I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one. http://tfl.nu/nv72
  Replies (17) Good night (3755) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th. http://tfl.nu/t2dt
  Replies (18) Good night (2436) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon. http://tfl.nu/lhyu
  Replies (55) Good night (3733) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator http://tfl.nu/ic52
  Replies (17) Good night (7641) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Nevermind, it's not water.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle. (907): Nevermind, it's not water. http://tfl.nu/jzsy
  Replies (24) Good night (7098) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them http://tfl.nu/hras
  Replies (41) Good night (4199) Bad night (1523)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking. http://tfl.nu/1cd2
  Replies (13) Good night (3791) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  My ATM looks so different sober.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): My ATM looks so different sober. http://tfl.nu/aska
  Replies (7) Good night (2264) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (228): i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy http://tfl.nu/ftf6
  Replies (1) Good night (2479) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/6dyk
  Replies (9) Good night (3261) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/0zto
  Replies (16) Good night (930) Bad night (2249)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow. http://tfl.nu/9y2p
  Replies (5) Good night (1901) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is http://tfl.nu/ppgp
  Replies (8) Good night (730) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg! http://tfl.nu/xub1
  Replies (1) Good night (428) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here http://tfl.nu/s5pw
  Replies (2) Good night (372) Bad night (205)

Randomize