Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?

(703): View more from Virginia

I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.

Fav 37 3227 1299
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(440): View more from Ohio

He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim

Fav 24 988 7952
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(808): View more from Hawaii

Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?

Fav 20 5700 1085
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(404): View more from Georgia

My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.

Fav 11 5122 1686
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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(908): View more from New Jersey

Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.

Fav 3 1386 3378
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(914): View more from New York

I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list

Fav 18 5373 1026
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(+61): View more from Australia

remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.

Fav 21 4710 899
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(407): View more from Florida

Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.

Fav 5 1030 621
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(563): View more from Iowa

Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant

Fav 2 681 505
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