Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia