Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
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funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
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I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.