im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!