Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
