So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
