And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
