I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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