you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
