why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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