At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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