did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
