I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
