He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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