so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
