I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
