it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
