I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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